Starting an independent life outside of your parents’ home is a serious step. For this reason, the prospect of talking to your parents can be daunting. What is very important to understand for any person who moves away from home and for those parents who understand that it is time to separate – this is the purpose of what is happening. Separation is a time of crisis for both parents and the person who moves out, a reasonable degree of readiness of both sides. Do you understand the full responsibility of your desire? Moving away from home is a manifestation of independence and adulthood.
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Prepare for the conversation. Determine the reasons for your desire to live separately, think about possible reasons for parents’ concern, and plan a personal budget. When you are ready for such a conversation, choose the right time, speak directly and honestly, and listen to your parents’ opinion. Keep in mind that it may take several conversations before your parents make their decision. They may disagree as well. Nevertheless, the conversation will be an important way for you to show your concern and even protect your future relationship with your parents.
There are many reasons to move away from home, and your parents will probably be interested to hear it. Common reasons include:
Assume your parents’ possible concerns. While you feel a pleasant excitement at the thought of living independently, your parents may feel uneasy about this decision. Consider potential objections that parents may raise in the conversation to consider their responses. Possible objections:
Plan your budget to cover your basic expenses. Ideally, before moving out of your parent’s home, you should set aside an amount that is sufficient for at least 3 months of life in case of job loss or other events that may prevent you from working (illness or accidents). It is also usually necessary to pay for the first and last month of renting an apartment. Don’t forget about the money for food, utility bills, and entertainment! Find roommates to share the cost of rent and utilities, if possible.
Determine if you need your parents’ consent to move. If you leave parent’s home without their consent, they can call the police and force them to return home. Consider this fact before discussing your plans with your parents.
Consider making regular visits to your parents. Your parents will probably want to know when they will be able to see you after the move and how often. If you are close to your parents and do not intend to travel far, you can discuss a regular schedule of visits, for example, having dinner with your parents every Sunday or inviting them to your house for coffee every Saturday morning.
Choose a time to talk when the parents are relaxed. Your parents will be more receptive to the news and open to conversation if you plan the conversation at a time when they are relaxed and in a good mood. Choose the most appropriate day and time. You can also raise the topic during a quiet joint activity, such as a conversation on a walk or relaxing in the common room. Say, ” I want to discuss an important matter with you. Is this the right moment?” No need to dump the news on the parents after a hard day’s work or in the morning when they are going to work. Share your feelings and say that you want to live separately. After starting the conversation, tell honestly and directly about your intention. No need to beat around the bush or embellish the situation.
Explain how you plan to pay for your moving and living expenses. Show a budget plan and a list of actions that will help you complete the task. Money will be one of the main reasons for parents’ concern when you move away from home, as independent living is expensive. For example, you can share this information with your parents:
When you’re done talking about your motivations, let your parents take the floor. Listen patiently and carefully as they voice their concerns or concerns. Don’t interrupt and don’t try to argue yet. Listen until your parents finish talking. Make eye contact and nod to show your attention. Put aside your phone, tablet, or other items that may distract you. If necessary, take notes to discuss specific points later. Give answers to your parents’ objections. When they finish voicing their concerns, you should respond to the concerns raised. Stay calm and make objective, logical arguments instead of emotional appeals. Show your maturity and thoughtfulness of such a decision.
For example, if your parents say that you don’t have enough money in reserve, you can answer like this: “I have money for expenses for three months, plus payment for rent and utilities, so I believe that this is enough to start with.”
Thank your parents for listening to you. Even if they are strongly opposed to your decision, it is still important to express your gratitude for the conversation and opinions on this issue. Show that you appreciate their view of the situation, even if you disagree with them on a number of issues.
If your parents and you have solved all your issues and parents don’t mind your moving away from home it is time to plan your future relocation. First of all you need to decide what you can do on your own or probably hire movers if you want everything to go smoothly. Moving helpers have experience and appropriate equipment according to your needs. Check moving companies reviews before booking to be sure you made the right choice according to your needs and budget.
If you want everything go according to the plan download the moving checklist here. Proper moving checklist will save your time and effort. It is essential in case you haven’t ever moved before. Read moving tips about packing materials or watch useful videos on our channel. A moving cost calculator is the best tool to start getting control of the moving situation. Don’t be shy to ask for at least 3 moving quotes from different movers to choose the best option.
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